Naruto Abridged 4 Quotes

Kakashi: "Target in sight?"
Sasuke: "Rodger that."
Naruto: "Okay. I'm going in."
Kakashi: "Go!"
record stop noise
Kakashi: "Heheh. We fooled you into thinking you were doing something important."
Naruto: "F*** YOU SENSEI!!!"
Sasuke: "Well this mission sucked."
Kakashi: "It isn't my fault you guys fail at life."

Fat Old Lady with a retarded voice: "Oh thank you so much Mr. Ninja for saving my cat!
Naruto: "Oh yeah! I almost forgot why I wanted to become a ninja! It was to find cats for fat old ladies."
Kakashi: "It looks like our next mission is to clean up somebody's yard."
Naruto: "Wow Kakashi, that mission really sucks."
Kakashi: "Hey, it was either this or review a Mermaid Melody Fan Dub."
Naruto: "Where did you say that rake was?"

Naruto: "Okay seriously Hokage, all we've done is clean toilets, wash gutters, and water plants. Why do our missions suck so bad?!"
The Third: "Look, I'm gonna level with you, these "missions" are just an excuse to get free labor and not have to pay anything. And then we label them as "missions". Kakashi, take it away."
Kakashi: "*clears throat* Okay here's the breakdown. D's are done by you dorks, (comment about the stupid D missions.) And if we feel like it, you guys can do C's. C's and B's are for-"
Iruka: "Me right?"
Kakashi: "Iruka? What the hell are you doing here?"
Iruka: "Duh, fans seem to like me and I don't have enough lines in this episode."
Kakashi: "Will you get out of here?!"
Iruka: "Okay, okay. Jeez."
walks away...
Kakashi:</i> "*clears throat again* Anyway..."
</i>The Third: "Sorry Kakashi, you ran out of time."
Kakashi: "But...Iruka-"
The Third: "I said you ran out of time! But thanks for playing. Your consolation prize is a C mission."
Naruto: "Really?! A C mission?!"
The Third: "Yeah, escort this old drunk to Sea World. He's gonna build a bridge. Now, before we verify that this is a C mission, do you have many enimies after you? Bosses, Water Ninja Elites?"
Tazuna: "Nope."
The Third: "Okay then, that'll be 20 dollars."
Tazuna: "I'll give you 15."
The Third: "The fee's non-negotionable."
Tazuna: "25 dollars!"
The Third: "Um...okay?"
Tazuna: "Ha. Still got it."

Naruto: "All right! Let's go on an adventure!"
Sasuke: "Yay. Whoop-de-doo."
Kakashi: "Okay, seriously, Naruto you need some ridalin. And Sasuke you need some prozac."
Sakura: "What do I need?"
Kakashi: "A smack across the face."
Sakura: "You're mean!"
Kakashi: "Yeah, well, you're useless."

Kakashi: "Let me tell you about the five Kages and the five hidden villiages so we can lengthen the episode and animate less."
Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto: "Oh..."
Kakashi: "Hey, at least it isn't a flashback."
Naruto: "Good point."
Kakashi: "Anyway, you've got the five villiages; the drinking gourd (wind), the dog crap (stone), the squiggly lines (waves), the three puddles (water), and the...what the crap is our symbol?! No, seriously! It doesn't even look like a leaf! It looks like a snail fell over and can't get up!"
Naruto: "Umm...sensei?"
Kakashi: "Oh yeah, and then there's the five Kages. The blue, green, red, brown, and yeallow. And together they are: The Kage Rangers!"
Power Rangers theme plays...
Kakashi: "That answer your question?"
Naruto: "We didn't ask you anything."
Kakashi: "Y'know, Logic has a brother. His name is: SHUT THE HELL UP!
A ninja assassin: "Let's get the old guy."
The other assassin: "I'm a generic villian too!"
They wrap the chain blade thingy around Kakashi
Kakashi: "Not now Anko."
The first assassin: "We got him brother!"
The other assassin: "Why thank you captain obvious."
Sasuke: "Oh, no they got sensei."
LOGGED!!!
Sasuke: "Nobody. Say. A word."
The first assassin: "We'll destroy all of you!"
Naruto: "That's just mean!"
The other assassin: "Well, maybe not destroy, maybe just maime..."
Sakura: "That's still pretty assholeish, I mean, we didn't even do anything to you guys."
The first assassin: "Yeah, but-"
Naruto: "I mean, you didn't even give us a chance to defend ourselves..."
The other assassin: "Well, we're ninjas, aren't we supposed to do that?"
Sasuke: "No. In this series, ninja's who attack from the darkness, so when the enemy least expects it are the bad guys."
Kakashi "Right. We're the good guy ninjas who only attack when provoked. Weren't you paying attention in ninja school?"
Thte first assassin: "Gosh, I guess we weren't thinking..."
Kakashi: "It's okay, see ya later."
The other assassin: "Okay sure! Gee, what a swell group of guys they were!
The first assassin: "Yeah, when you think abo-Hey! Wait a minute!"
Naruto: "Wow, what complete retards!"
Kakashi: "Yeah, pretty much."
Tazuna: "You guys are the worst bodyguards ever!"
Kakashi: "Oh yeah, we forgot about you. Hey, didn't you say to the Hokage that there weren't any elite ninjas after you?"
Tazuna: "Hehehe...I only had 35 dollars on me...the truth is, Disney doesn't want me building the bridge because they'll lose money, so they sent ninjas after me."
Kakashi: "That is the worst joke ever."
Tazuna: "I'm old and drunk, I'm running low on material."

Naruto: "I can be just as emo as you Sasuke!"
Sasuke: "Heh. I doubt it."
Naruto: "Oh yeah?! Watch this!"
stabs himself in the hand...
Sasuke: "Hmm...You have potential, but you stabbed in the wrong place, stabbing yourself there will only give you the illusion of stigmata."
Naruto: "Stigmata...AH! I'M GONNA GO BLIND!!!"
Sasuke: "I said stigmata! Not stigmatism."
Naruto: "Oh, okay then."

Some random voice: "MEANWHILE, BACK ON ENDOR..."
The first assassin: "Sorry dude, we, kind of failed."
Haku: "We see that."
The other assassin: "Yeah, sorry."
Haku: "It's okay, we'll just leave it up to my friend, Mr. Poofy Pajama Pants."
"U can't touch" this background music starts...
Zabuza: "Heh heh heh...."